You are the one...who I dreamed of all my life

September 30th, 2006

04:49 pm
sorry i never write in this anymore, i'm into myspace now. i think i'm obsessed.

August 30th, 2006

11:59 am
Well, I had another baby shower yesterday. it ws super nice. Bens Aunt Betsy hosted it. There were three types of salads there, cookies, cake, pizza, sangreas (sp?) chocolate martinis, ahhh, soooo much good food.

Well, I got the jogging stroller I had been wanting. Now I can actually take Christian with me when I go run. yay. I got a little jumper, bouncy seat thing, tons of clothes, toys, towels, ect... and a few gift cards. yay!

Going to a daycare today on the east side of indy to see about a job, i think a daycare would be my best bet right now considering I don't have a sitter. We'll see how it goes. *crosses fingers*

So, here are some of the pics from the shower yesterday....enjoy.

yes, im still fat.

<img src="http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a80/loveben/DSCN0837.jpg

August 25th, 2006

12:21 pm - hick ups are stupid
Christians sick. He's got a cold. He's hardly slept the last three nights, its killing me. He has been sleeping about 6 hours, waking up and taking 8 ounces, and sleeping for another three to four hours. I miss that. I want him to get well soon, for both of our sakes....
Current Mood:

tired

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August 16th, 2006

11:22 am - sorry i haven't posted in forever
I hardly have time to get on the computer, much less post pics...but I put christian in the sling and he's asleep, finally some computer time. yay.

here are some photos taken about two days ago. (jess this is one of the outfits you sent. cuuuute.)

he's about 12 pounds now, maybe a litte more. isn't he big?!?!

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July 14th, 2006

10:52 pm - picture update
here are some recent pics of christian. We take soooo many pictures daily, we must have like a 1000 by now. seriously.

Things are going well.

here are the pics

isn't he the cutest thing ever?

July 4th, 2006

07:45 pm - my boring birth story
sigh. well, where to start? *takes deep breath*

Christian Allen Robards
9lbs 1oz.
21.5 inches long
born June 29th, 2006.
7:36am

So Wednesday (the day before Christian was born) I cleaned all day hoping to be exhausted by around 10 or 11-ish. Well, I was, but I took a Unisom just incase I couldn't sleep. (you know how it is when you're excited for something, those are the longest nights, I hate that.) Well, yeah...I got in the bed around 10 and feel asleep probably around 10:30. I woke up around 11:15 to Bens cell phone, yeah...I was pissed. It was his sister. Now, I'm not sure why she called, cause I had talked to her around 9:30 and told her that we were getting up at 4:30am and had to be at the hospital by 5:30 at the latest. Anyhow, I couldn't fall asleep again until like 2:30 or 3:00 I was soooooo mad. I could have beat her ass. oh well.
So we got up at 4:30, we were both all excited that the lack of sleep didn't effect either of us. We got dressed, took a pic of each other and headed off to the hospital. Once we got up to labor and delivery, they took me to the room that I'd come back to after the cesarean. They hooked my belly up to the monitors christians heart beat was good, and I was actually having some pretty hard contractions which I didn't feel. *shrugs* They put my iv in and filled me with two and half bags of fluids, asked me 100 questions, shaved the fuzzy off my belly, and made me drink this really sour stuff that’s suppose to prevent acid reflux. They told me its was really nasty, that it would be best to just chug it, but I actually thought it was good. lol. I love sour stuff, but maybe it's cause I was so hungry.
Around 7 they got me up and walked me to the Operating room. At this point I was really nervous. How weird is it actually walking to the OR? The nurse asked me if I was ready before she opened the door...I don't really know what I said to her, but I remember thinking to myself "NO!" *l*
The nurse opened the door, it wasn't what I had expected. It was a rather tiny room. The operating table didn't look like what I thought it would either. It was small. (I remember thinking to myself, "how to fat people fit on that?" Anyhow, I sat on the operating stretcher while they did my spinal. (which didn't hurt...I’m not really sure how a spinal is different from an epidural, but it is.) Anyhow, as soon as they put the meds in me, my left foot and left ass cheek went numb. That's when I got scared. The nurse told me to lean back...I did. They pulled my gown up and cathed me, by that time I was already numb. I started to feel really nauseous, dizzy, they kept asking me what was wrong, but it was a feeling I had never had. I was freaking out, and was telling Brenda (my aunt, she assisted my doctor) that I wanted to go completely under, I didn't know what was going on, but I was dry heaving and felt terrible. It was weird trying to puke and not being able to feel your tummy tighten. Brenda told me that it wasn't good for the baby, that I couldn't go under. They shot something into my iv, and that terrible feeling went away. Turns out my blood pressure dropped WAY low. They could haven told me what was going on so I didn’t freak out so bad.
A short while passed, I could feel pressure from people doing who knows what to my belly, but that was all. They called Ben in and once he was there, I was better. It was nice to have them there kissing me telling me that it was going to be alright. I didn't know then, but they had already made the incision. A short time after that they asked Ben if he wanted to watch his head come out, so Ben stood up. I heard the doctor say when he cut into the amniotic sac that there was light meconium. (baby had bowel movement in utero) I didn't worry about that too much cause I know thats usually manageable. So yeah, I could feel Dr. D's hand shake trying to pull the head out. He kept saying, "come on baby." They kept telling me he had a big head. Well, duh...he's a baby baby, this is the reason I'm having a cesarean to begin with. I found out later that they ended up using a vacuum to get his head out. All I could feel during all that was Brenda pushing on the top part of my belly. I told her later it felt like she weighed a thousand pounds. *l* They also had the same problem with his shoulders. Once he was out I heard Ben cry. It was so sweet. Then I heard Christian cry. That's when I started crying. It was the best feeling I believe I've ever had in my life. That's when it became real. I was so happy. And it felt like I had lost 100 pounds. *l*
Once they gave the baby oxygen and was ready for him to go to my recovery room, ben left. And I started to get sick again. ugh. It sucked. I could feel him shaking my uterus...packing it so he could sew it up or possibly delivering the placenta, I'm not sure, but whatever it was, it made me sick. I guess I laid there another hour or so before they were all finished. it didn't seem that long, I didn't realize it until I got back to the recovery room. Ben was holding Christian. When they got my bed in place Ben handed him to me, and I pretty much haven't put him down since then. *l*
I went home the next day. Didn't really need that much pain medicine. I took a shower that night and even cleaned up my room a little. *l* I don't know why, but I'm only a little sore. Not even enough for me to want pain medicine. Maybe just ib prophen. I guess that's good thing though. Oh yeah, that doctor told me that I would have never had him vaginaly. He said I couldn't have had a 7 pound baby vaginally. Something about a bone that’s connected to my tail bone is real prominent and sticks out really far, I'm not really sure. He said I'd never have a vaginal birth, which is fine with me, the c- section wasn't really that bad. I think I'll do better a second time now that I know what to expect.
Well, I feel normal now and am ready to start working out again. (sucks that I have 3-5 more weeks until I can)
Motherhood is wonderful. I love it. He's great. A bit frustrating at times, but I love every minute of it.

Sorry this was all jumbled. I didn't really feel like thinking it all out, and I don't really have the time for that anyhow. I'll add more if I think of something I've forgot.

Now for the good stuff. =) enjoy

gave him his first bath in the baby tub today. (no, I didn't get his cord wet)

me and christian the first time I held him. I look like poo, just got out of the OR.

Brenda and Christain.

Hunter and Christian after we got home from the hospital.

after his bath.

awww, mommy and baby.

and the best for last. My baby can already give the finger! *l*

10:52 am - baby. =)

the day i had him.

June 30th, 2006

03:49 pm - Christian Allen
I had my baby yesterday. Had a c-section. (yikes) He was exactly what the ultrasound predicted. 9lbs 1oz. 21.5 inches long. born at 7:36 yesterday morning. He peed on the doctor. *l* Ben and I are staying the weekend with brenda, so I'll write more about the birth sunday night. Sorry for the short update.

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June 27th, 2006

01:12 pm
Well, I already wrote an entry telling you all that I'll have my baby on Thursday morning. I thought I'd never have him. I serisouly felt at times, that I was going to be pregnant forever, I just retarded like that sometimes I guess. But yeah, wow. Two more nights of not having anyone to worry about but myself, two more nights of, well, sleep when I can or want to sleep. I'm so huge at this point, that sometimes it more painful than it is helpful if that makes any scence at all.

When the ultrasound tech told me that he was 9lbs 1oz, I nearly shit my pants. really. She said that you could give or take a pound on that, so I could have a 10 pound child in my uterus right now, not cool. I'm glad I'm having a c-section. I'm not aftraid, I just want to see him, and hold him, and smell is baby smell, and kiss him, the list goes on. I know it's going to be hard, but I'm ready to do all I can for him that I can. There are so many things that I want for him to experience/learn in life, it's weird. Motherhoods going to be my thing, I can see that now. I'm gonna love it.

So I'll go in Thursday morning at like 5:30 in the morning, and they'll start all their jazz with my tummy at 7:10 and he should be here around 8ish I'm guessing. Brenda, (my aunt whose my doctors nurse) said that Dr. D usually lets the patient deciede when they're ready to go home, so I'm hoping to be home Saturday sometime. Ben and I are going to stay with Brenda (cause he has to work Sunday, and I'd like at least one day of help. lol.) So I'll be in Muhlenberg Saturday night and Sunday.

I guess that's all I got. I'll update again later when I can. Yes, I'll post pics.

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June 26th, 2006

10:43 am - baby baby
Well, I had an ultrasound today and Christians estimated weight is 9lbs 1oz. HOLY COW RIGHT? Anyhow Dr. D said that I should probably have a c-section, which is fine with me I suppose. I'll have him Thursday morning. (I'll be in the or at 7:10am) yay, finally...time for baby. =D

June 23rd, 2006

01:08 am

omg, I know she's pregger again, but my goodness. uck. She used to be hot.

June 21st, 2006

11:57 pm
nope. no baby.

rar.

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June 17th, 2006

07:01 pm
yup, still no baby. Ima be pregnant for the rest of my life. =(
This is depressing.
Current Mood:

depressed

June 12th, 2006

07:42 pm
Everyone should fill up their gas tanks now, looks like the prices will be up in a few days. stupid hurricanes.

June 10th, 2006

02:01 am
Well, I went to the Doctor today. He told me that if in 3 weeks I'm still pregnant, then he'll induce me. Thank god. I know being induced, makes contractions a lot worse, but I'm soooo ready to have this baby. yay. I'm excited about that. At least I won't go over my due date. (i'll be 39 weeks when he'll induce me.) I'm 80% effaced. He also said the baby was really low in my pelvis and when i went into labor that I wouldn't have to do much work since he's so low. yay.

Baby shower tomorrow, I'm looking forward to seeing everyone. =)

I love ben. things are great. <3

June 6th, 2006

02:06 pm
still no baby.
sigh.

June 5th, 2006

05:52 am
i think i might be in labor. i'm not gonna go to the labor and delivery floor. i'm just gonna try and wait until 8 and see my doc in his office.

i'm in pain.
Current Mood:

uncomfortable

June 4th, 2006

07:22 am
jesus, i'm up at 7am.
sigh.
Hunter spent the night. He went to bed at like 9:30 last night and gets up at the butt crack of dawn.
Having a baby should be fun.
The lack of sleep now days doesn't bother me, which is good I suppose.
I usually average 2.5-3 hours a night, but the last two or three nights I've been getting 5+, it's niiiice.

I think I'll be having my baby anytime now, seriously. I'm not even sure that I'll be able to carry him until my shower, but we shall see I assume.

Watched Wolf Creek last night, it was stupid.

We're taking Hunter to the Lake today. (pennyrile state park or something, can't remember the name) We're going to rent a paddle boat, swim and eat lunch. Sucks cause Brenda told me not to get in the lake. She said the pressure might break my bag of water. I really wanted to get in too. I guess I won't since I've lost the mucus plug, the last thing I need is an infection. I wouldn't mind it my water broke though. *l*

I need to make myself some breakfast.

June 3rd, 2006

03:07 am
*I'll go ahead and warn you now, don't read this if you don't want to hear me bitch. I'm basically just going to complain about being pregnant and how miserable I am. You've been warned.

I think if I'm pregnant another day, I'll lose it. I'm so serious. I can't breathe. (no matter what position I'm in) I'm averaging about 2 1/2-3 hours of sleep a night, I'm so big and miserable.

I see Dr.D tomorrow. I'm seriously going to beg him to deliever my baby before June 28th. (that's the earliest date he told me he'd give me a c-section) Since he told me last time that Christian was big, I'm crossing my fingers that he'll give in. sigh. Since i wrote this yesterday, i'll add that i'm 50% effaced, minus two, and i've lost the mucus plug.

The last few days I've been sick to my stomach and haven't eaten as much as I need to be. I'm drinking enough water, just not getting enough food. I'm eating peanut butter crackers now. I'm hungry, I just can't eat. rar.

On another note, things between Ben and I have been wonderful. He's been so wonderful the last few months. He really, really has. I find myself bitchin' at him for stupid things, and he's just been blowin' me off. That's wonderful. I try not to bitch at him all the time, cause I know this has been just as hard on him as it has on me, but he's doing such a good job. He's told me several times he's ready for me to give birth....*l* he's always got a good scence of humor, which is wonderful, I love that about him. He makes me laugh all the time. <3 Poor guy gets all my frustration taken out on him. He hasn't complained at all. He calls me several times a day while he works to check on me. I can't wait until our baby gets here. Our family will be complete. (until we deciede to have another baby, which will be a LONG time from now. *l*) Well, now that i've talked about muh sweetie, I'm smiling, so I'll end with that.